I’m writing to tell you I’m a fraud. Here I go again trying to be a writer when clearly I’m not. I’m a fashion designer, stylist and I do a touch of fashion blogging. I get all dolled up everyday and go around taking kids here and there in all the latest and greatest fashions. Sounds amazing, right? WRONG! Truth bomb… you ready for it?!?! I put on cute clothes and once in awhile I get crazy and throw on some heels and take a few pictures and then… THEN I run back inside and throw on my cozy sweats and my favorite grey sweatshirt.
Don’t get me wrong. I love getting dolled up for church or work meetings, lunch dates and date nights, but for the most part I’m lucky if I make it to the shower and out of my workout clothes by 3 p.m. I also have another thing to tell you. If you saw me carrying my Louis Vuitton bag around town or have spotted it in a few pictures….well…ummm it’s not real. <GASP> I know… a complete fraud.
You see, I remember dreaming of REAL Louis Vuittons and Gucci bags but to be honest I could never bring myself to buy one. I mean what does it really mean? That you’ve arrived? That you’ve made it? All your hard working is paying off and you deserve it? If that’s your thing and what makes you feel better then you go for it. We will all be different in this and different is good. I think different is what makes the world a beautiful place. But can I just say that buying that Louis Vuitton bag wouldn’t have given me near the joy as when I was able to help a family buy plane tickets last year to spend Christmas with their family. And I know that wearing those Louboutins for the first time wouldn’t have made my heart beat near as fast as it did when I delivered Christmas presents to a family in need.
Something you may not know about me? Every Thanksgiving my little family is at the homeless shelter. NOT because I’m better, but because I promised myself not to lose perspective and because I owe reality to my children. I can’t express how grateful I am that I am able to work, earn a living and that I have a little extra to help out here and there. Now don’t get me wrong, I love traveling and clothes and furniture… Oh how I love decorating and furniture. (Curse you HomeGoods) And I certainly don’t go without. In fact, if I’m honest my closet is sickening. It is so crammed full of clothes that no sane person could wear them all in a years time. Heck, maybe two years time. I’m not proud of it… well actually, extra not proud of it right now because half of it is not even hanging on hangers. It’s in heaping piles in all 4 corners of the closet. I’m gonna work on that next week….errrr the week after. 😉 Just remember, that girl that you see flying to LA, going on fashion buying trips, visiting showrooms or wearing heels and cute tops daily… Well, she’s a fraud, she actually wears sweatpants 70% of the time and eats tacos surely more than she should. Don’t forget, her house is messy, her closet is messier and her bed is only made for pictures;) So now that I have recognized and labeled myself a fraud… I think being a fraud is fabulous.
While it might LOOK like I am all put together remember, that’s not real life. I much prefer my real life. Shoot, I’ll take my jelly-stained sweatshirt from little fingers over perfect hair any day! I don’t want to contribute to the LIE about what is real. It feels like we don’t even know what real is anymore… That somehow carrying ridiculously expensive bags and wearing designer clothes means more to the world than giving. I’m not sure when that switched or how. But we need to get it back. And I’m no different. I’m right there with you drooling over outfits on instagram of pieces I wouldn’t even know where to put because my closet is already busting at the seams. But don’t you dare for one second let this “online” world convince you that you are failing. You keep doing what you are doing girl and I promise you, you’re going to be just fine. Actually, better than fine because you know what? Kindness and giving still DO matter. I am reminded of that (like a huge, rubber sledge hammer to the face) everytime I step outside myself and serve. Don’t let things that look “perfect” fool you into feeling less about yourself or your life. You are enough.